Child of God
by Robyn Hood
Summary: Kurt Wagner gave his life to protect Hope Summers. Now, he'll find out if his faith will be realized.


_ Bamf_.

Kurt knew as soon as he materialized what had happened. He didn't have to look down to see it; he just _knew_. He really wasn't seeing anything; the white, searing pain in his chest, his heart, his lungs, distracted him from registering anything other stimulus. He wasn't aware of sight, sound, smell, or even the taste of blood in his mouth. All he knew in that moment was unimaginable pain.

Something, perhaps Providence, snapped him out of it before he went on too long, unresponsive and leaving his charge open to further attack. Time seemed to have slowed down; everything he did and experienced seemed to be in slow motion. Those brief seconds of shock had seemed like minutes dragging by, but the wheels in his mind began turning again, and he knew what he had to do.

He also knew he wouldn't survive it.

It was an odd thing, how quickly and surely that realization came to him. He was going to die. He was going to die, and that would be it. Today, he would find out if his faith would be fulfilled, if those years of devotion were for naught, if that comfort and peace were divine provisions or not.

There was no time for any grieving, no denial, anger, bargaining, or depression. There could be nothing but acceptance, for even if he didn't push himself, didn't get Hope to safety, his card was already punched. He'd had medical training. He _knew_ he didn't have long, and he could already feel his lungs filling with fluid, his damaged heart struggling to beat.

The abrupt motion of his arms jerking up and his hands clamping down on Hope's arms like a vise probably startled the poor girl, who might have already begun to think of poor Nightcrawler as dead, motionless and silent as he had been.

Tears welled up in the blue X-Men's eyes, from both pain and fear. He clung to the only comfort he knew, and fought to speak past his drowning lungs. "Oh, Luh-Lord…in this…this time of need…st-strengthen…me." Maybe he'd have a chance if he didn't try this jump. Deep down, he knew it wasn't true, but he was scared to try. He had to fight his own survival instinct to do it, but he couldn't let Hope be left at the mercy of their enemies. Closing his eyes, he disappeared into an explosion of sulfurous smoke, a louder-than-normal _bamf_ left ringing through the landscape. All that was left was Bastion, his arm gone. Kurt had been too terrified to try and leave it behind; it might have been the only thing stopping him from bleeding out.

They materialized on the shores of Utopia, and a few feet above the ground, as was Kurt's habit. Hope screamed in her short fall and flailed about, trying to catch herself, but Nightcrawler had nothing left in him. He was completely drained, and fell, limp, to the ground without single sound, save the rattling in his chest as he struggled to breathe. He didn't move at all, too tired to even think of doing more than shifting his eyes to focus on his passenger. His fur was getting wet from the spray of the ocean, wetting his tail and his feet. Funny, the things he noticed as he lay there dying, consciousness slowly fading.

Hope was going on, freaking out and crying above him, but he couldn't bring himself to expend the effort needed to understand what she was saying. He heard her voice, the fear and worry, perhaps even a tinge of _guilt_, so with a labored breath, he did his best to soothe her.

His friends would later say that that was the person he was; always putting others before himself, even with his last breath.

"Wuh-worth it." He managed, glad for the second of distraction from his dwindling life. Speech required so much effort and concentration now.

She took his hand in hers, a three-fingered, bony hand that many people had called misshapen, and a select few had called unique; a hand that now wouldn't cooperate and close around hers. He could feel himself losing control of his body. It wouldn't move; he could hardly feel it anymore.

"I…I believe in you." A tear rolled down his temple, beginning at the corner of his eye, wetting his fur and disappearing into the dampness of his sweaty hair. He was afraid. He wanted comfort, for someone to hold him and tell him it would be all right. He wanted to be warm and dry, but he was so very cold and too weak to even shiver. He wanted to be clean, but instead he was slick with blood and sweat. He wanted the people he loved with him right now, but all he had was Hope.

He watched her teary form, holding his hand, and wished that he could cry. He didn't have the energy to, but he could feel the fear, the sadness, the loneliness compelling him to cling to life. He'd never been that close to Hope, but here he was, dying and she was the only one with him.

He wanted to talk, to distract himself from the fading sensations in his feet, legs, and tail, moving upwards and inwards from his hands and arms. He couldn't even tell of the terror he felt when his chest stopped hurting. His mouth wouldn't work. He realized he could no longer hear. None of his limbs would listen. His mind screamed for him to move, to speak, as if _somehow_, that bit of fighting would cause his life to return to him, but it was for naught. His vision began to dim, and if he could have cried, he would have. He knew this was the end.

Colors lost their vibrancy. Details and backgrounds disappeared. All he could see was Hope, still holding the three-fingered hand that wouldn't move when he so desperately wanted it to. He coughed, sputtering, and fought for his last breath, but he had no intention of it being his last. Still, when he exhaled, he didn't have the energy to inhale again.

The world went dark, but as soon as it did, sensation began returning to him, little by little. He could _feel_ his body again, but he didn't hurt. He could feel air, seeping beneath his now-dry fur and cooling his skin. He could hear himself crying, feel the sobs catching in his chest and wracking his body, but he still couldn't see.

That was when he heard his name. The voice was familiar, but he couldn't place where he'd heard it before. Soft, paternal, and kind, but with an unmistakable power to it. It soothed him just to hear it. He immediately turned his attention to the direction of the voice, searching for its source.

"_Kurt_, _why are you crying?_"

He saw a light, a bright, radiant, white light that was purer than anything he'd ever seen before. It wasn't a light at the end of a tunnel, but it was spreading to chase away the darkness around him, devouring the pitch black until there was _only_ light, except for where Kurt sat, knees pulled up to his chest and tail wrapped tightly around himself. He could now see a figure in the light, who seemed to be the source of it, moving towards him, and he felt all fear disappear. He knew Who this was.

"_Come here, my son._" The Figure said, moving towards the poor, bedraggled mutant on the floor. He stopped right before Kurt, towering over him like an adult would a child, then reached down to pick Kurt up.

"F-Father." Kurt managed, his breath catching, though his tears had ceased. He reached out, _aching_ to embrace and be embraced, burying his face in his Father's shoulder.

He smiled, giving Kurt the hug he so desperately needed. "_Well done, Kurt. I am very proud of you._"

Kurt felt the tears come back, but it was for an altogether different reason now. He stared at the perfect, smiling face with awe. "Th-thank You."

Securing the blue-furred X-Man to His chest, the Father began to walk back in the direction He'd come, leaving the darkness behind. "_Let's go home. I've got a lot of people I want you to meet._"

Kurt relaxed in his Father's arms, being carried away like a child. He felt safe and loved, even happy, more so than he ever had in his entire life. He watched the darkness go, no fear or sadness in him now. All of the pain from before didn't matter; all of the pain from his life didn't matter. Nothing else mattered now, except that he was where he was supposed to be, where he'd longed to be all of his life.

He was home.


End file.
